Hetalia

Axis Powers Hetalia is a webcomic - turned - manga - turned - anime - turned - fandom that gets more attention than it deserves. The series takes twentieth century history and turns it into an anime by personifying every country as a singular person.

Since the typical fan has the attention span of a four year old, each episode is only 5 minutes long. That gives the average fangirl just enough time to fuel up with ideas for their next fanfiction. This is Hetalia, every yaoi fangirl's dream, where hot animu boys get together for 'historical' reasons.

Hetalia attempts to explain historical events using comedy to keep you entertained. This causes many fans to believe they're actually learning something when they watch it, and since the last thing most of them read was chapter 6,283 of Naruto, that's most likely the case. Despite the inaccuracies of this anime, you'll still find fangirls willing to argue that you can learn history from it. Some even take it to a new level and declare that Hetalia taught them about politics. After watching the show, a few of them would declare themselves to be Neo-Nazis, Communists, Socialists, etc, because their favorite characters are.

The fanbase will rant about how it is technically an educational anime. But just because it pretends to replace hearing a history lecture at school, doesn't mean it succeeds.

Rosario + Vampire

You won't have to worry about spoilers while you read this review, because NOTHING HAPPENS IN THE WHOLE SERIES. Rosario + Vampire is yet another anime about monsters and superpowers. Common complaints about the series include the many contradictions made(watch an episode, you'll find about 60 every 2 minutes), the lack of character development, the lack of emotion in the voice acting, and that the only reason people like this show is the excessive amounts of inappropriate scenes.

Turning its back on every chance of originality or relevantly reasonable plot, it starts off with the story of the male character, Tsukune Aono. Like in any other boring anime, he's a normal boy with no personality or powers. With all this in mind, the guy still manages to win the hearts of the whole female cast of the series at a school that coincidentally turns out to be a super secret educational facility for Japanese monsters and demons. 

Moka Akashiya is a pink-haired girl who is supposedly innocent, despite having a two-inch-short skirt and huge jugs that jump all around the place at the smallest movement, just like every other female character in the series. She has a magical rosary around her neck that, when taken off, lets the vampire inside her free! There is no logic to it but she, and everyone else, fall madly in love with Tsukune. In summation, the anime is perfect for guys who like anime that let them pretend they'll one day be surrounded by women who want nothing but sex.

Attack on Titan

Attack on Titan is an extremely cheesy, melodramatic, and overhyped Japanese show, in which nearly everything dies before the viewer can figure out what is going on. The plot mainly revolves around people frantically crying literally non-stop. The tear to frame ratio is a million to half a frame.
The story begins when, out of the blue, God decided to send Titans to destroy the human race. Humanity was nearly wiped out, but the surviving people somehow built a massive wall to keep the Titans away from them. How this was accomplished was never explained, and so far, sounds completely insane. Titans invade the city of Shiganshina, which gets completely destroyed and everyone dies... again. The main character Eren Jäger sees his mother get eaten by a titan, and then vows to kill every single one of them, while crying his tear ducts off. After 5 years of hard work and crying, Eren, and his adopted sister Mikasa complete their military training and join the Recon Corps (the guys who failed to protect Shiganshina).

What Every Episode Looks Like

Attack on Titan (Shingeki no Kyojin if you're a weeaboo) is extremely good at connecting with its intended audience, the majority of them being girls. The attraction of these fans proves the anime to be effective at gathering and maintaining it's audience. The series has spawned countless fanfictions, mostly involving the male characters from the series interacting with each other. Attack on Titan also managed to infect YouTube with its cheesy content. Searching Attack on Titan will bring up tons of results mostly involving mash-ups and parodies of moments from the anime series.

Sword Art Online

Sword Art Online or sordo artu onrain was originally a light novel by a writer named Reki Kawahara, which later got adapted into an anime. When Reki was a 13 year old boy, he was often bullied in school for being a nerd, and he spent a good deal of time in his room. One day, Reki decided he would put his time and effort into writing a novel. In 2012, he asked several producers to adapt his work into an anime, and after getting to know many CEOs of a Japanese anime companies, he accomplished his dream.

The story follows a nerd named Kirito, who lives in Japan in the year 2022. There is a 
massive hype about a Virtual-Reality MMORPG called Sword Art Online being released on the NerveGear; a virtual-reality console that puts the user in a hyper realistic 3D environment.  On release date, Kirito is playing the game, after 4 hours of gameplay he realizes the game is garbage and that he just wasted his money, but as he is about to log off, he sees that there is no option to log off. That is when the Game creator annouces that they can't log off unless they beat every boss in the game, and if you die in game, you die in real life.

Every episode's summary:

1. Kirito is wandering around an area
2. Kirito meets character of the day.
3. Character of the day has a problem and spends 5 minutes explaining what the problem is.
4. Kirito attempts to help, and something from the game escalates the problem.
5. There is a fight.
6. The fight ends in 2 minutes when Kirito makes up a special move and wins.
7. Character of the day either dies right in front of Kirito (cue the sad music and 2 hours of crying) or thanks Kirito. The rest of the episode is devoted to this.
8. Kirito is revealed to have gotten just a little bit closer to completing the game.

The only exception to this is the episode where Kirito and Asuna go on their honeymoon by a lake. After at least 1,000 episodes (of which only 3 have actual plot progression), Kirito predictably defeats the final boss and wakes up.

Naruto

Naruto is an anime about a ninja teen struggling to be accepted into society by annoying everyone around him, including the viewers. His goal is to become Hokage Ninja Obama and change the world. To accomplish this he becomes a ninja who only uses 2 jutsus for the entirety of the series, forgives mass murderers, and rather than killing enemies, would rather give speeches about bonds and friendship. One of the many themes in Naruto that are ultimately ignored is that hard work surpasses talent which is shown in how Naruto and Sasuke become the strongest characters by having perfect bloodlines and being handed power ups while characters like Rock Lee are ultimately forgotten by the plot. There are too many characters in Naruto to list because its creator has a lack of proper story-planning, so just know that pretty much everyone either has a dark past, is an orphan, or has a somewhat normal life, and therefore no screen time.

Although it is riddled with characters who lack development, plot holes, and filler, Naruto is one of the largest gateway anime of it's time. Gateway anime are shows that because of their popularity, they have the ability to introduce people to the anime art style and general community. Despite it's bad writing, I'm still glad Naruto has been around because of the massive additions to the anime fandom brought on by it. Even for me, Naruto was one of the first anime I started watching when I was younger. It's easy to see why Naruto has managed to last as long as it has by appealing to their enormous and always increasing fanbase. 

QUALITY Animation